Monday, January 16, 2012

A Rant I Had....

Here is a rant I had at the hotel, the night we found out Boy would lose his life to this cancer:

This may be my last rant of the night...it may not be....for those who dont know me, I have lived through a lot....i have been raped...I have been beaten...i have been mentally abused..I have lived with mental problems...I have lived through drug overdose, and being in a coma...I have lived through many stays at mental hospitals, and way too many psych meds....I have lived with the fact that my fathers heart blew up within a week of me leaving the state...I have lived through my mother having strokes, and ultimately brain surgery which led her to live with me and my family when my Bug was only 9 months old....I have lived through my husbands addictions, rehabs, and out of our home stays....I have NEVER once in my life, said that 'this isn't fair'...........until now...........and guess what? THIS ISNT FUCKING FAIR!!!!!! WE have never had a chance to be a fucking family..........it isnt fucking fair, that the love of my life will not be able to see his daughter grow up....it isnt fucking fair, that I will become a widow in my 30's.....it isnt fucking fair, that I will become a single mom....I will say it now....and I will say it again...this isnt fucking fair...........
***FUCK CANCER***


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4 comments:

  1. JaneJanuary 17, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    Oh, Kendra, my heart just breaks for you all as I read this again. It also brings up such emotions and flashbacks of my own ordeal with my husband. Your words could've been my words. I lost my husband after 13 short years of marriage when my kids were only 5 & 7. I felt the same way, like we never really got to be a normal family. It wasn't fair for them or me and it isn't fair for you, and Troy, and Montana. You are not alone. Thinking of you and praying for you. <3<3<3

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  2. KendraJanuary 17, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    TY Jane!!! I know...I know how AMAZINGLY strong you are, and have been, and only hope I can be the same...ILY

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  3. cindyJanuary 19, 2012 at 6:29 PM

    You are right it isn't fair, lean on everyone here and scream and yell whenever you need to! Love you!!!!!

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  4. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    I been following your story. You inspire me in so many ways!!!! You inspire so many other people. Your story been told over and over with so many who sharing it. Kendra, it's not fair. You are right!!!

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